


Aegis

by philomel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-13
Updated: 2011-11-13
Packaged: 2017-10-26 00:46:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/276701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philomel/pseuds/philomel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every hero needs some defense. How Neville found out about the headmaster.</p><p><span class="small">Set during <i>The Half-Blood Prince</i>.</span></p>
            </blockquote>





	Aegis

He thought of himself as an unfinished word: half-uttered or mispronounced, a blessing cut off, an interrupted curse.

It seemed inevitable, then, that words would not yet penetrate him. These words, mere random letters, thrown into the air like mad gibberish. But even the maddest phrase has meaning. If anyone knew that, he did. Subliminal intent, gestures and inflections informed him more than the frankest statements. The less plain it was, the more he saw it.

An ironic thing, that — he being the plainest boy of all, so often unseen.

So he played the hidden fixture now, used well his own cloak of invisibility. He thought it a kind of death too, wondered if it could be comparable to the real thing. But he bit his lip as soon as that terrible idea tiptoed forth. He sucked in breath, hissing through his teeth, and then froze, thinking, surely, someone had heard him, he would be found out. When no speaker faltered, his name remained uncalled, he exhaled softly, shivering at the cold air that rippled the hairs on his arm.

At the creak and bang of the doors, his muscles stiffened. As the footsteps passed, he remained rigid, bracing himself for the word he knew would come now. That word, he realized, he never wanted to hear again.

But it didn't come. A silence waited for words to fill it. Then he heard the name, like a snapping against his ribcage. And another turn of phrase: _gone_. A blank euphemism. Soft on impact, lingering longer than the word that made him wince. Funny it should be that way. After all, _dead_ was an empty term. _Gone_ , however — that was the same as _lost_ , both rooting deeper. And though, in his head, he heard his gran's voice chide him that his own loss and actual death were not the same thing, Neville reasoned that sometimes, sometimes they might as well be.

Closing his eyes tighter against the sudden sting, he kept on feigning sleep in his hospital bed. It was easier and, anyhow, there was nothing he could say.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the following passages:
> 
>   
> _Pushing open the doors, Harry saw Neville lying, apparently asleep, in a bed near the door._   
> 
> 
> ~ J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ , page 613, U.S.
> 
>   
> _“And Dumbledore...” said Mr. Weasley. “Minerva, is it true... Is he really...?”_   
> 
> 
>   
> _As Professor McGonagall nodded, Harry felt Ginny move beside him and looked at her. Her slightly narrowed eyes were fixed upon Fleur, who was gazing down at Bill with a frozen expression on her face._   
> 
> 
>   
> _“Dumbledore gone,” whispered Mr. Weasley...._   
> 
> 
> ~ J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ , page 622, U.S. 
> 
>   
> _“Again?” said Mrs. Longbottom, sounding slightly weary. “Very well, Alice dear, very well — Neville, take it, whatever it is....”_   
> 
> 
>   
> _But Neville had already stretched out his hand, into which his mother dropped an empty Droobles Blowing Gum wrapper._   
> 
> 
>   
> _“Very nice, dear,” said Neville’s grandmother in a falsely cheery voice, patting his mother on the shoulder. But Neville said quietly, “Thanks, Mum.”_   
> 
> 
>   
> _His mother tottered away, back up the ward, humming to herself. Neville looked around at the others, his expression defiant, as though daring them to laugh, but Harry did not think he’d ever found anything less funny in his life._   
> 
> 
> ~ J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_ , pages 514-515, U.S.


End file.
